The Truth about Fire Engines

We were building a fire engine out of Lego. I was concentrating on the task at hand and so not ready for this one...

Toddler: Do fire engines do poos?

Me: Nope.

Toddler: But they've got a bottom.

Me: It's a different kind of bottom.

Pause

Toddler: Do fire engines have willies?

Me: No, they're fire engines. They don't have willies.

Toddler: Are they girls?

Me: Fire engines aren't boys or girls.

Toddler: I think they're girls...

Paint

Our discussions are sometimes refreshingly simple. This one after nursery.

Me: You've got black paint in your hair. What have you been painting?

Toddler: My hair.

10 Green Bottles

Simple songs can turn very serious, very quickly.

Toddler: One green bottle hanging on a wall... and if one green bottle should accidentally fall...

Me: (joining in) There'll be no green bottles hanging on the wall...

Toddler: Where did they go?

Me: They're not there anymore.

Toddler: Are they broken?

I've always said I'll be honest with the little man

Me: Yes.

Toddler: (dismayed and a little upset) They're broken?

Me: Uh-huh.

Toddler: Oh no! They're broken!

Me: (uselessly placating) No, they can be recycled...

Toddler gives me a blank look, a little distressed

Toddler: Who will clean it up?

Me: The street cleaner?

Toddler: (disbelieving) The street cleaner?

Me: The dustbin man?

Toddler: The dustbin man... OK.

Glad I got to the end of that one...